Confessions of a Teenage Vampire
by Fuzzy Lumpkin
Summary: Nessie's thoughts on her family and life. A little angsty. No dialuoge, drabble. Oneshot.


Every teenager complains. Every teenager girl complains more. Every teenage girl with a huge, embarrassing family and extremely over protective dad complains more. But no one, no living thing on this earth, had as much right to complain as me.

I'm no where near what you would call normal. I'm a vampire. Not a Hollywood vampire, with wooden crosses and garlic, but a real vampire. Talk about an oxymoron. Anyway, technically, I'm not even a vampire. I'm a half-vampire, but my parents are both full vampires. My aunt and uncles are all vampires, and my grandparents are vampires. On my dad's side, at least. On my mom's side, my grandpa is human, but he doesn't know I'm a vampire, and my step-grandmother is the mother of two werewolves, who are my step-uncle and step-aunt. And my boyfriend is a werewolf, too. My boyfriend imprinted on me, which basically means he can't go a day without me. It's weird, but I like it. He's also Alpha of his pack, so my aunt and uncle—the wolves—travel with us when we move.

Since neither vampires nor werewolves age, we have to move around a lot and pretend to be younger than we really are. We also have to lie about who's related to whom and so forth.

Here's the story: My grandparents, Carlisle and Esme, are posing as my parents. My Aunt Alice, Uncle Emmett, and my mom, Bella, are acting as siblings who were adopted by Carlisle and Esme when their parents died in a fire, or something. Rosalie and Jasper are the Hales, twins who had Esme for an aunt when their parents died in a plane crash, and dad and I are the Masens, brother and sister who had Carlisle as a godfather when our parents supposedly died in a car crash.

Jacob, Seth and Leah are foreign exchange student from Canada. We're going to have to work on that one. Then, there's the whole couple thing. My parents are together, Rose and Em, Jazz and Alice, then me and Jake. "Technically" we're not related, so it's all right. I don't get it: we're trying to fly under the radar, but we're so totally not. There's a whole fricking ton of us, and that's not even the worst part.

Whoa, I got totally sidetracked. I was talking about complaining, right? Well, life sucks when your trying to make friends and your dad (posing as you brother) is a mind reader, your uncle (again posing as your brother) can feel and influence a crowds emotions, and your aunt (posing as your sister) can see the future.

Why is this a problem, you ask? When you and your family are a bunch of supermodel looking vampires, you'll understand. Every time a student thinks a single wrong thing about anyone in our family (particularly me and mom), dad knows about it. If anyone ever has any "feelings" for anyone in our family, Jazz knows about it. I can't sneak off because Alice can see the future. Even if she can't see me, if I plan to do something, it will go blank, and if I plan to ditch it'll come back to her.

I can't even argue with my parents the way I would like. Yeah, I can argue, but I can't get a tattoo because my skin's too hard, I can't get drunk or get high because they don't work on me, and I can't yell at my parents because they're too Goddamned perfect.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to see your parents acting like newlyweds 24/7? That's no elaboration; we don't sleep. There are an amazing number of things to do at night when you don't sleep. I, having just as sensitive hearing as any other member of my family, get to know exactly what it sounds like when two rock hard objects go at it. All night long, every day. Three words to sum it up: repetitive, inhuman, disgusting.

At school, I try to be normal, but it's hard when I have an overbearing protective boyfriend and father. None of the girls I know want to talk to me, because they think I think I'm too good for them. (They are also afraid of Jake.) The only guys in school who want to talk to me aren't allowed near me (blame the mind reading bloodsucker).

I'm good at everything, I don't mean to sound braggy, but it's true. I have to hold back in gym; I could easily injure someone. All my classes are a bore and I could most likely teach the teachers something new.

And I grow up so fast. Less than two years ago I was playing hide-and-seek with Seth and Jake (not that there was much point: hide-and-seek is tough when everyone had supersensitive hearing and sense of smell.

Wow. Angry rant over now.

I love my family; they can all tell you that. But they're so annoying sometimes, I hate it. I can't understand why it's so hard for them to all act normal, for once. Look at me, I try. Do they? No.

All they have to do is attempt, and then it would be okay.

Who am I kidding? Like that'll ever happen.

I'll try the next time we move.

**A/N: that was way shorter than planned. And I didn't want nessie to be all rebellious teenager-y either. I love nessie, don't get me wrong. Tell me if I'm wrong (hint hint nudge nudge: REVIEW) but I'm so much better at stories than drabble.**


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